42.2

In 11 days I will run the Mississauga Marathon. This isn't my 1st but it will be my 1st one in 3 years. I'm scared shitless. Not because I don't think I will finish but because I have set some huge goals for myself. I do believe I can achieve them but the day has to be perfect.

Here are some reasons why I'm scared:
1. It will be painful beyond belief.
2. I have achilles tendinitis which will intensify the pain.
3. My longest run has only been 30K
4. I won't achieve my goal.

People sometimes ask me, "If it's so painful, then why do you do it?"

I often ask myself that exact question during a race. But I've learned that it's not about the achievement of finishing a race. It's about the training and the ability to push yourself forward when you want to quit. It's about commitment, discipline, tenacity, and guts. All these things transcend into my every day; it has helped me form my sense of self and deal with the daily battles of life.

So in the midst of race purgatory, it doesn't really matter if I'm having a bad day. There are moments when I will fail, this is guaranteed. But it's about picking myself up, blocking out the pain, and becoming stronger.

In 11 days, I will complete my 5th marathon. Regardless of the result, I know it won't be my last. Because all in all, it's about the journey.